Your Honor,

I was contacted by mail in regards to my wife wanting to mover permanently to North Carolina w/ our children.  Then your court clerk ( Joel ) contacted me by phone informing me my wife wants the hearing moved up.  Her claim is that she fears for her life and the life of the children.  Your Honor,  I feel this statement is not the reason.  My wife is a runaway.  Any time the cards get piled to high, she runs.  She ran away from home, quit High School, quit beauty school ( still owes the Higher Education department $3,000 )  and now she quit her marriage.  I truly believe that all the charges were just fabricated to allow her to run.  In regards to the first restraining order violation, I honestly don't remember making the police call due to the fact that I was on pain killers, my regular medication, and in the state of mind I was in I was consuming way to much alcohol due to my clinical depression.  Not an excuse your honor, but the truth.  I'm sorry.  The violation was a culmination not seeing my children for 2 months, my children not calling me on the phone for 3 weeks, of my wife (telling me to) trying to convince me to commit suicide.  She filed two false reports that I was suicidal w/ the brick police ( I have the reports ) and when I said to her "Please come home and lets work out these problems", she said "Why do you just off yourself so I could got on with ( her ) my life."  In the state of mind I was in I was going to, but I guess I was either to afraid to or to smart.  Whatever the case I ended up in the Saint Barnabis Behavioral Clinic for 7 days.  They evaluated me as being on the wrong medication and after the correct medication took affect they released me.  Since then I have been seeing a psychiatrist & therapist every three weeks to deal with my recovery which both doctors have commended me on how good I'm doing considering all the turmoil that is surrounding me.  The second violation of the order she claims was harassment.  First of all your honor she called me at home.  I asked to speak to the children and when my son got off the phone he said "Daddy do you want to talk to David?" ( David is the boyfriend of my wife with whom she was living in North Carolina with during the 2 months she would let me see, hear from or talk to my children ( against your order not to relocate. It turns out that David is also my wife's stepbrother. )  I said, "No David's a loser."  Probably not the right thing for me to say, but this was 2 weeks after my wife told me she was terminating our relationship to concentrate on our children.  After she berated me and yelled I hung up the phone and and proceeded to call the Waretown Police to report the living conditions my wife had my children in.  She was living with her girlfriend, her husband & child, and my 3 children, wife and boyfriend.  ( Still being married crossed out )  I was not going to allow my children to sleep on the couch and have my 16 month old daughter sleeping with my wife and her boyfriend so if that is considered harassment I'm guilty, but I consider it a father looking out for the welfare of his children.

Since the beginning of the whole ordeal I have followed all the rules you have put forth.  Unfortunately I'm in arrears on my Child Support ( $525 ) and I missed my car payment ( August 15th ).  I have not worked since June ( motorcycle accident ) and I have exhausted all of my avenues for financial help ( friends, relatives ).  I filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in Mid July and am currently speaking to my mortgage company so that I do not loose my home.  All of the regulations you set forth were followed to the best of my ability.  I am scheduled for surgery Sept. 26th in Community General for a rotator cuff tear due to accident.   After surgery will be approximately six weeks of recovery.  If you could put a stay on my payment with possible removal or deduction of some of the bills I pay ( Car Payment $304 a month  , Car Insurance $200 a month, Health Insurance $504 a month,  Child Support $700 a month )  I will make it all up when I get back on my feet because there is no way that I want to deny my wife and my children of anything.  In regards to my wife obeying the orders you set forth, she hasn't.  Since June I have probably only seen my children 4 times.  She never brought the children to the court supervised visits, ( Miss Ahern could verify this ) and argues you took the court ordered visits off and allowed my sister to supervise she hasn't made one of these either.  I was supposed to see my children every other weekend from 3pm Friday to 7pm Saturday.  I have yet to see them.  My wife will not allow my children to call me and under this restraining order don't even know where they are so I can call.  I have reason to believe that she has left the state against your order but I don't say anything because I don't want to go to jail for restraining order violation.  It is not a violation for a father that loves his children to want to see hear and talk to them?  I think not.  It's obvious my wife just wants to have my children not know their father whom they love very much, but with her track record if you allow her to leave the state chances are I'll never see my children again.  No spelling bees, ball games, recitals, graduations, etc.  Is this fair?  My wife claims she wants to go to NC because she has a support system down there.  Not true.  The only person is her mother and new boyfriend.  In NJ she has all her brothers, Aunts, and lifelong friends.  But not only that, what about the children?  All of the cousins, Aunts, Uncles and my parents.  Your Honor, my parents are 70 years old.  Is it fair for them to never see their grandchildren again?  My father, who I named my first son for, who gave us money to buy our home, who bailed us out on more then 1 occasion financially, who paid for all of my children's Christening, not to be able to cherish his grandchildren?  My 2 sons ( children scratched out ) have told me that they don't want to move away not on my coaching but their own words.  ( They said crossed out ) My 5 year old asked me if we could bring our family together and make it strong.  I said I would love to but it is up to Mommy.  Her response, "No way".  Is this a person concerned about her children or her own selfishness?  I swore to the lord almighty that I would be there for my wife unconditionally.  When doctors tried to commit her after the second childbirth I refused to let it happen and stood by her side.  3 pregnancies, post partom, mental rollercoast.  I was there.  When my wife decided she didn't need medication or doctors care anymore is when the problems arose.  No it wasn't all her fault but it wasn't all mine either.  I told my wife that marriage is the hardest job you'll ever have and unfortunately she quit this job to.  I wish I could have turned the clock back and faced my depression in the beginning so I could have dealt with it earlier but unfortunately I wasn't man enough to admit it.  Possibly if there truly is a God he will let our wounds heal and hopefully reunite our family but only time will tell, but right now your Honor it is in your hands.  Please don't let my wife ( her crossed out ) relocate with our ( my crossed out )  children.  Please grant ( give crossed out ) me joint custody.  Please don't ruin a loving fathers dream.  I still love my wife ( and my children crossed out ). 

This typed out version was done so that the letter above could be more easily read and understood.  Ms. Palmer did not type this letter out.